You know I try to stay positive as much as I can, but things are really starting to get rough.  Let me catch you up.  First of all, my foster son is now at the Youth Emergency Group home in Lebanon, TN.  Why is he there?  He has alot of issues to deal with that Sandra and I just can't help him with.  Lord, knows we tried.  But we would make little progress and then he would take like 50 steps back.  We just couldn't handle the running away, sneaking out, shop lifting, and the total disregard for anything we said anymore.  I understand that he has been through alot and its very hard to deal with, especially at 13.  but, the positive note is he is really doing good.  Everyone there talks about how much progress he has made.  Things are looking good on that end.

Now comes #2.  I received word that my Grandmother is not doing well at all.  A little over a month ago they gave her 4-6 weeks to live.  Her kidneys are shutting down slowly.  I went to see her a couple weeks back, she did not look good.  But the stubborn old lady is still fighting.  She is 95 years old, and this is the first time she has ever looked her age.  its really hard because she's like my second mom to me.  its like Sandra keeps tellingme as stubborn as she is she will live to be a 100 just to prove people wrong.  thats were I get my stubborn behavior from!

Now #3...The weekend I went to see my Grandmother, we received a call from David (Sandra's Uncle)  David use to date Lisa who had a son.  His name is Anthony.  I used to coach Anthony in Baseball and Football.  Very sweet kid with a heart of Gold.  He was a nephew to me even though David and Lisa were not married.  David called to tell us that Anthony and his Grandmother had died in a house fire.  He was only 10 years old.  Needless to say I was in major denial.  Sandra was crying and I know she thought I didn't care.  I showed no emotion.  That is until the Funeral.  I couldn't help it. how much more can God give me to handle, is what I thought.  I was so mad.  But something good came out of all this.  It made me realize that there is no guarantee in life.  No guarantee that I will wake up tom.  I realized that the things that I b*tched about because I thought they were important, was so minor.  Here was a 10 year old boy, just a child that hadn't lived life yet and never will.  and I am bitching about people at work that get on my nerves, or because they ask/expect me to do their job for them, SO WHAT!?!?  Does is matter?!  Hell no! Why did I write this?  To ask everyone to not take things for granted.  Please, don't worry about the small stuff.  To all my friends I love you! Lord, knows I don't call enough!  But I think about ya'll everyday!  Thanks for listening!

I have go to know why!!! Why do people make things harder then what they are??  This prob. won't matter to anyone, but I have got to vent about this.  My poor wife Sandra has heard me b*tch about this for about the last week.

The "Powers to be" in my job are well, not the brightest bunch of people I have ever met.  I have to do this monthly report on overtime for our institution.  It's not a bad report really, well lets say it didn't start out bad.  My first question is why do this report, when the powers to be have access to the same info I do.  They can get the information from the same place I do.  My guess is they don't want to do the leg work.  Anyway, I do this report for the first month.  Everything is great!  I actually get complements on it! WOO HOO! So I set it up in the computer that all I have to do each month is pop in the numbers and done!  takes about an hour if that.  Well, Now comes the next month.  I do the same thing.  Somewhere, in Central Office sits a moron that has nothing better to do with their time then to find some stupid sh*t to b*tch about!  They come to me with..and I quote! "Jason, the reports looks really good.  "We" were wondering if their is anyway you can break down, by each department, who worked the overtime"  Now, goes back to my original question..why do this..you have access to the same reports I do!  But I did it anyway.  Then they come to me and say well, we have noticed that personel has placed these people in the wrong areas.  They didn't like my response which was why are you telling me shouldn't you let personel know this!  So, needless to say that A report that should have taken about hour has taken 3 weeks! 

Why do people make things so much harder then they have to be!?!?!?!  Thanks for listening! Have a great one!

I am sitting here at my desk at work and just happen to look out the window and notice that the same people seem to walk up and down they hallway like they are some kind of hall monitors.  I thought that went out in like Junior High.  I bet these people where hall monitors then too! :)

Anyway, I just got done reading a blog from my dear friend matt (riverrat338) and he made alot of good points.  First let me say that i love reading Matt's blogs because he has such an unique look on life.  If you want some good reading check it out.  Anyway, Matt was talking about how things are really not original.  I agree what is left in this world that is original?  Coke? Nope its been changed nine million times!  Remembe r "The New Coke"  then there was "Classic Coke"  now there is C2, diet coke, cherry coke, diet cherry coke, and the list goes on and on.  What was wrong with the original?  Why change it?    I just don't get.  My family always taught me, if it ain't broke...don't fix it!  I agree.  I look at my job, in our field things change everyday!  And it seems like the more the powers to be change, the more they screw up.

Don't get me wrong I am all for progress.  Its a must in the world.  but why change things that don't matter?  like rearranging the living room, does have to be done? NO! We do it because we get tired of looking at the same thing.  Now, what happens after you change it?  You end up stumping your toe in the middle of the night when you get up for some water.  So, now your living room is change and your cussing because you stumped your toe!  What did that solve!?!?!

Don't mean to change the subject but the song "Walking in Memphis" just came on I LOVE THIS SONG!! Another change that had to be done tht just ruined a good song..."Dure let's let Lonestar remake the song".....

IF IT AIN'T BROKE DON'T FIX IT!!!!!

Well, I hope everone had a great and safe holiday/New year.  Mine I must admit was very cool.  I went to Memphis the weekend before Christmas to do the whole "Christmas thing" with the family.   Now before people start jumping me (riverrat, emily, etc.) for not calling when I was in town please understand that it was we got there about noon on that Saturday and had to leave at 6:00 Sunday Morning.  So it's not like I forgot ya'll!  New Years eve was cool as well.  We had a few people and there kids over and we jsut hanged out.  Nothing fancy just chillin!  It was kind of neat to see all of the kids get so excited about the New Year.  I was excited, i was thinking "YEAH!! Income tax refund coming soon!"  sad isn't it!?!?! 

I don't believe in making resolutions, why you may ask, because most people don't stick with them.  I did make one this year.  My resolution is to relax.  When it comes to work, family, etc. I am just going to relax.  I am going to do my best not to get so worked up over things.  Those of you who know me know that this will be a MAJOR test for me.  I will do my best!

The New Year started off nice though.  I came back to work (for those of you who don't know I work at the Tennessee Prison for Women) and the Warden comes to me and said she is appointing me the new Team Leader for our Hostage Negotiations Team.  I was so excited I have work very hard with the team and seems to have paid off.  Now, this doesn't mean I am just the leader for TPFW, but for the whole Middle Tennessee Region.  So this is a big step!  I don't get a raise, but I am happy just the same.

Well, I guess I should go!  i hope everyone has a great New Year!